That Drifting Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.

Looking back, we consider the television offerings of the recent year, a selection of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final season began, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, viewers certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this show's issues. The recipient of a very rare zero star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the flaws. The laughably wooden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and consumption? The seemingly wilful parade of cliches? Acting so poor they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the restraining orders, abuse claims and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but dismissive egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Dodgy figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just really boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the extent to which she grinds the gears of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into twee lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you view them and are forced to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was akin to consuming a marketing catalogue. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart recruitment of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from strangely breezy, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A total mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for explicit escapades as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.